1. Instruct all troops to stock up on field rations of Shreddies (only the good, good, whole wheat ones).

2. Open armouries at all bases and distribute weapons to soldiers.

3. Provide the Canadian civilian population with weaponry and encourage them to "point the small bit at anyone without a maple leaf badge". NOTE: Some followers have suggested that the use of guns is un-Canadian. We believe the evil is justified in this case. Read more about our weapons policy in The Gun Thing .

4. Canuck troops infiltrate the US-Canada border.

5. After meeting feeble resistance from the already-weakened-by our-clever-campaign-Americans, Canadian troops seize control of all US cities.

6. South America falls to the power-hungry Canadian advance.

7. Submarines and cool Bluenose-like ships (nuclear powered both!) are employed in the conquest of Europe.

8. Conquest of Europe scheduled to last: Max. 3 days -- Min. 2 hours.

9. Peace is made with European powers...Canada sets up puppet governments in the once-independent countries.

10. Canada renames Russia "Claire and Jenny Territory". Early polls show that Russians prefer the new name.

11. Canadian troops seize Asian capitols. Hong Kong movie directors get the entire thing on film. Chow Yun Fat defects to Canada and becomes our Minister of Propaganda in the Pacific Rim.

12. The Pope capitulates to Canadian demands and agrees to force Roman Catholic clergy to make loyalty oaths towards Canada.

13. Pope-mobile seized and re-tooled for use by Generals Claire and Jenny.

14. Australia and Canada reach a win-win agreement. Canada will completely rule Australia, but due to friendly relations from our Commonwealth days, will take pity on the Aussies and kill Paul Hogan.

15. Canadian troops encircle the globe.

16. Peacekeepers are kept busy putting down minor rebellions.

17. All minor rebellions cease when it is realized that Canadianism is the Right and True Path.

18. Irish rock band U2 is allowed to record a single in honour of the Canadian conquest: "Sunday Happy Sunday (in the name of Claire and Jenny) Remix Version 12".

19. Record charts (controlled by the Office Of The Generals) show single at no. 1.

20. Committee formed to design a new world flag.

21. Committee decides the Canadian flag (in its Glorious Perfection) is good enough for the entire world.

Next: Part 4!


Comrades Giant and Rusty

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