Quick Reference:

Older Hatred
Classic Hatred

Faithful readers have questions:

Why is it ... that almost all the senders of hate mail cannot correctly use "your" and "you're"? Are they all engineers?

I am confused.

Kev (A Canadian in NYC)

Collected for your amusement, these notes of hate and ignorance have been faithfully arranged in their original form, with no editing attempted. One hopes that these authors are not mentally ill, although the chances are high that they suffer from some malady.

Our staff is aware that for loyal followers of CWD, our "Hate Mail Page" is a constant delight. We're pleased to be able to share these comments - everything from the infamous (and inexplicable) 'Ganges Kong' reference, to the threat of 'HaxOrs' doing harm to our country, to Charley Raj's interest in photography, to that oldie, yet goodie: "You'd all be Nazis if not for the macho machinations of the American military!"

Well, we can only hope that less than impressive people like the disaffected individuals below are running the Resistance. We think you'll agree when you read their comments. Feel free to write them and tell them how you are impressed by their ideological zeal!

Mail To The Generals:


Travis Courtney

Canadians are stupid. Just look at curling.



How on earth does one have the time to come up with such nonsense. I beg to
differ about your views upon Americans. My family has fought for this
country, thus I have become rather found of the United States. Your plan is
oddly reminiscent of Pearl Harbor, of how the Japanese lodged a kamikazi
mission against the United States. I'm afraid that the US doesn't fall for
the same thing twice. You have forgotten about exchanging messages between

You cannot use dog sleds, it's far to slow. This rules out personal
messengers too. So basically, you have three choices. Phone, which can be
easily tapped, morose code, which is also easily tapped, and the Internet,
quite possibly your best bet, but also can be easily tapped (hey, if a
fifteen year old can do it, so can we). Now, these loop holes shan't help
you to rule the world. You also conveniently overlooked that fact that the
US and Canada are allies.

If you were to attack the United States, the UN (and the United States of course) would most likely, forgive my language, kick you ass. The US alone has enough nuclear weapons to bomb every major city on the face of the Earth twenty times over.

Canada, well I'd personally be surprised if you could do it once. Second of all, Canada has no resources, everything in Canada, such as your gasoline and iron, come from other countries, most of whom are allied with the United States. Without their help (for they most likely would not like to go up against the US), your country would have a severe handicap, much like the South in the Civil War. However, as you shall be conquering a very vast area, you will have a major disadvantage there. The US has a much higher population than Canada.

Maybe you should rethink your plans.

Just another patriot


CDW meet the CIOO Covert Intelligence Operatives Organization
You people make me sick we will conquer the world not you feeble minded REDS!

Head of the CIOO


Hehehehe.......To all my fellow Americans reading this site, have no
fear! First, they will have to cross the border, which will cost them a
week's salary in canadian dollars. If by some chance they actually
gather up enough of their "loonies" (by the way, any country that calls
some of it's money a "loony" says it all) to get over here, us
Detroiter's have a plan. The Canadians don't know this, but we are
secretly populating Ft. Wayne on the Detroit River with our homeless who
have been promised a rock of crack, and their own 9 mm to shoot any
Canadian on sight! We have more artillery on Woodward Ave. than does
your whole country. Relax fellow Americans! They will never make it
through our gauntlet!!

From the front lines in Michigan

Jon Hains

UNESCO has designated 47 Biosphere Reserves in the United States covering 50 million acres. In order to designate sites and spheres under either of these UNESCO programs, the United States must agree to manage these lands according to international dictates and objectives.

The UN/UNESCO types have made no secret of their goals. Their next step is their Wildlands Project, a plan to designate one half of the United States as "protected areas or areas where special measures need to be taken to conserve biological diversity."

Americans don't need or want any UN/UNESCO bureaucrats telling us how to "protect" our own land. We can jolly well handle our own protection.

I Guess You Will Be Next !!!!


Um I'm an american who was sworn into air cadets

You guys really did think this through but really it wont work because
americans are exposed to this....and stuff so they would understand whats
going on before you could get the plan off the ground...but you know if you
take out george bush THEN america would be p
retty much stupid because we rely
on a stupid man to make us not feel so stupid...so send in some bombers blow
up to white house and invade right away...and the world will fall to your
feet because like they'd love you for taking out america

Lardo Blom

Hahahahahahahahaha hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahah


hahahah & ha!

Canada take over the world?

Beat Europe first!


Your plans for world domination are futile. Not only do Canadians lack the
military and economic strength to pull this off but they also are without the
population big enough to overrun a country like America. Also, even if you
did pull this off your inevitable downfall would be being a totalitarian
state and over expansion, your military and leaders can't be everywhere at
once. Even if you had leaders everywhere you still need strong leaders to
hold it all together. Anyway the A-Bomb would take care of most of America's
problems. Heck, with all the weaknesses you are displaying its a wonder
America hasn't taken over Canada yet. So I guess thats it. I'd like to get
some sort of feedback on this due to the fact that I a 14 year old kid has
already dismantled your plans i a couple of minutes.

Thanks for the laugh,


To: The Canadian generals
From: Dutch International Unity Movement HQ

I would hereby like to officially inform you that your CWD-movement is
interfering with our plot to take over the world. I therefore kindly grant you
three days to surrender peacefully and quietly. If you fail to comply within
the set time limit I will be forced to regard Canada and the CDW-movement as
hostile. Refusal to cooperate will result in a heavy cheese-bombardment of all
strategic, civilian and commercial locations in Canada.
However since we do seem to have a common enemy, the vile and satanic United
States of America, we are willing to allow you to become one of our allies in
the holy and just war against these uncultured barbarians. In exchange for
your assistance we will be willing to offer you the privilege of keeping your
beloved maple leaf in your future flag, the red, white and blue.

End of message.


I would just like to inform you Canadians that there are still patriotic Americans that hold the United States in high regard. Some of us still get goosebumps during the playing of the Star Spangled Banner, the reading of the Declaration of Independence, and the smell of apple pie. We would give our lives in defense of our great country.
As for your plan, it would never work. Most of your population lives within 100 miles of the US/Canadian border, and would thus be prone to an effective counterattack.

Go USA!!!!
Loyal Patriotic American

David Williams

You people are mere amateurs. You know nothing of world domination. What you
need is a real plan! You canadians are only what you are because of us great
Englishmen. You should not be taking over the world in the name of Canada,
but in the name of Great Britain and the Queen. I ask you this, who is on
the back of your coins, just as she is ours? Exactly, the Queen!

Firstly your plan is foolish. I have been developing many plans, and soon
plan to publish them. My plan is guarenteed to succeed. What you need is
someone like me. You need to learn. You have much to learn. But, I can teach
you. Following my plan will take us to the top. We can rule the world
together in the name of the Queen, and myself, God Almighty.

Return an e-mail to david.jwilliams@btinternet.com


I love the web site, but I am confused...most of the site seems to be well
edited, and you seem to be articulate and literate (for Canadians, that is!)

Why all the spelling errors?

I mean, you keep spelling "humor" as "humour", and "honor" as
"honour"...perhaps your computers need a Spell Check (or is that "cheque"?)

Love, Kisses and Tequila (a/k/a "Mexican Crown Royal")

Dallas, TX, USA (a/k/a "South Canada")

Glenn Osmond

okay, free speech, but this is a sick idea....

Wolfgang Weber

Are you cazy? Freaks!


Hi. I'm a pure American who believes that I should take over the world. As long as I can make sure every Canuck bites it,we can be free. Long live America! You are a bunch of smegging twonks who would lose a battle of wits with a stuffed iguana! You'll be yellin "eh" in the pits of the underworld when we are done with you. We shall bury you, fascists.

Joby Stanning

The day Canada grasps the reins of world domination, is the day Americans grasp the meaning of "irony"

Bob Smart

We can destroy your civilization easily...all we have to do is drop our educational system on you and irradiate your cities with our television programming.

Canada Sucks

Canada #1 if...all the rest of the countries in the world were to disappear. Maybe I am misinformed, What does Canada do or produce? Canada is not known for anything but hockey and mediocre comedians. Canada weakly broke away from France (gee that must of been tough)and has been divided ever since. You country cannot decide on a common language - nor do you require that everyone learns both French and English, which would be the best solution.

Canada is not known to have really done anything, Canada has never been a world power. There is only one world power left... UNITED STATES OF AMERICA: We lead economically, militarily and with the freedoms that are available to it's citizens. Sure - we have our share of problems, but that comes with the high level of freedom and capitalism. Canada being a Semi-socialist country will never -ever become anything. Did Canada even participate in any war ever? Not that participating in a war is a sign of a great country - but I am wondering if Canada can stand up for its beliefs or do you just "protest" to the UN? What do you do?

As far as I can gather you pretty much leech off of the USA's abilities and resources - similar to Mexico but Canada isn't quite as broke or as corrupt as Mexico. Canada is just the Northern Suburbs of the United States. If your country were to complete disappear... it would have ZERO effect on any and all aspects of the world. And why is it that so many of your citizens come to the USA for jobs? And the famous actors and comedians move to the USA?

Geee.... Please tell me what is "Great" or even remotely good about Canada. I really want to know.

Thomas Fitzgerald

Well , you think that you can take over my country , eh ? Well I have news for you !!! I've come up with my own plan , to remove the threat of the canadian scum ... I will Marry one of your women ( I must say that I think Canadian women are much more lovely)(I've also been told by canadian women that canadian men are stupid vile creatures..) I will breed the nationalism out of them ( now multiply this a million fold ) and we WIN !!

A. Nony Mous


Have you radicalist Canadians ever heard of the concept of subterfuge? I mean, if you are totally outclassed, or if you prefer simply outnumbered by your opponents, At least try to rally together all of the 3rd world countries into your submission first. The U.S. is not likely to fall to outside forces, and do you know why? Because opposition brings them together to serve a common cause. Insurrection is always nice.

Another logical idea would be to establish something similiar to a net around the U.S., for instance, request that Mexico and the rest of Latin America refuse to deal with the U.S. until it forfeits some of its wealth that you claim you are on the verge of obtaining with this imaginary military you head. Force them into economical homage. Although only about 20% of the U.S's exports go to Canada, if they are suddenly forced to ship and fly their cargo, just think what would happen. The world's energy resources are dwindling, and im sure complete chaos would ensue.

I possess other theories for bringing the world to its knees, and as of this date you have done nothing except babble on about these plans of yours. You probably don't even have real authority in your country. The French Canadians in Quebec are no doubt single handedly capable of causing a civil war in your utopian-like country, and you would be powerless to stop them.

You have not either been proven worthy of my true intelligence, nor shown any indication that you have any of the latter, and I am debating right now the necessity of your existence. Maybe, with the passage of time, somethiing interesting maybe bestow its grace to this most unsanctified website, maybe. Until then consider me your enemy, for I could not dare think of declaring allegiance, nor neutrality for that matter, in the light of individuals as ill-prepared, ignorant, and undedicated as yourselves.


Let's be logical here. America has over nine times as many people as you do... did you ever realize that?! If you attempt to take over the world with your satellite, go ahead. There's going to be 300 million Americans waiting to kill the Canadian species and will most likely be successful.

Lane Ongstad

America The Beautifull

Canadian Domination Eh?

I'm not so sure you cannuks can pull it off. I was under the impression that you needed a military to invade a nation. Those fruits on horses don't count either! The Mounties are of no concern to us. I don't even think that Canadians are willing to fight for Canada, their home and native land. Even the majority of Cannuks don't like Canada. How else would you explain the fact that the number one immigrant into the US are Canadians. honestly, if parts of your nation are seriously considering defecting, how do you ever plan on winning. The US had that problem some years ago. We were able to resolve it in the end. Canadians work out their problems by going to a better country, and who can blame them. And of your plan to subdue Americans with Canadian Beer. Ha! Canadian Beer Sucks. Nothing beats a Texas Brewed Red Dog or Miller Light any day. Surely I can't blame you for such a mistake. Being raised in Canada shelters you from reality. Her it is though. Canadians are weak. Their more likely to feed you than fight you! That kind of hospitality is what makes Canada a friend of the US. When it turns hostile however, that's when it is time for the US to smack your crazy nation around. After all we practically own you. Everyone knows that Canada is like the 52nd state (after Puerto Rico). If you ask me Canadians just have an inferiority complex. You are ours to do with whatever we want! Live in your delusion for as long as you like, your fantasy will never come true.


The Wielder of Truth and Distributor of Justice
The American Nationalist
Sworn enemy of Canada
Loyal American Citizen
Michael James Ongstad

Patrick K [#1]

okay canada will never take over the world. it's impossible! The USA reigns supreme! nothing can stop us! NOTHING!!! hahaha! oh, and on your website you say MST3K is like on your side. but I happen to have MST3K the Movie. They watch the movie This Island Earth. but at one point when a spaceship approaches earth you see a cheesey pisture of the world with North America facing the screen. The Crow says "Just the way we left it, with the USA in charge!!!" that cleary states that da USA is da real deal boys! dont mess wit america or we'll come over mess you and your mounties up!

laterz - concerned individual

Patrick K [#2]

okay. OK. okay. now, now let me get this stright. YOU-canada, think you can stop US-the United States of America, in war. canada can't ever beat the USA in any form of anything ever possible anywhere. where you get the idea that you can even come close to doing anything remotely threatening is beyond me and any other sane person. youre like just a dumber, uglier, colder, dumber(again), weaker, dumber(yet again), add-on to the US. we have lost like no major wars or even small wars against Germany, Britain, USSR, which are powerful countries and you think a weak, dumb semi-country like yourself can stop us. hahaha! are you smoking something. cause then your ideas are excusable, but otherwise you all belong in special clinics. i mean Los Angeles could destroy your entire country by itself. what are you gonna do send mounties against us. Dudley Do Right? "What's this is aboot eh?" ya! even the simpons make fun of you. "I move here Canada and they think I'm slow, eh???" hahaha. priceless. you can not stop us! We will inherit the earth! So do yourself a favor and surrender now, cause the US is running out of patience with your dumb, ugly sem-loser-country.

Sincerely, The entire American public!

Patrick K [#3]



I have often suspected that Canada was pulling strings of world government. Therefore, I believe your threats of world domination are a ruse to lull the rest of us into thinking that your still in your planning stages. We are not fooled! So, I must notify you that my coalition of Americans, Sri Lankans and a few self-proclaimed displaced Canadians plan to strike deep into Canada to end your tyranny. Thereafter, the world will see Canadians as they truly are: NOT NICE!

PS: I am also convinced that Canadians live among us in the USA. They seemed to have mastered the ability to morph into forms that resemble Americans so much that it is impossible for the untrained eye (or should I say, nose) to tell the difference. They can only be identified by the faint smell of Swiss Chalet sauce emanating from their skin.



Stephen Bronn

Hello, Allow me to introduce myself.
I am Stephen Bronn, soon be be glorious leader of the planet earth. I find your page interesting. Your plan has some faults, or maybe your are sly and have left out key components but in either case your attempt shall fail. I am sorry but you must understand that I alone must rule the world and although I am from Canada I am also power hungry and ruthless. I will exalt Canada above all other countries but at the same time I am also going to become the leader of the newly unified world. I have a web page dedicated to spreading my word and if you wish to visit it you may. Just respond to my e-mail and I shall send you the url. I wish you luck in the future, your site is excellent, the layout is elegant, your web design skills may be unmatched.
However, I shall rule all for it is my destiny. Now if you will excuse me, I must bid you adieu, there are plans to be foiled and worlds to control.

Your soon to be leader


The only good thing about Canada is your drinking age.

Donald P. Drews

If it weren't for Canada, Alaska wouldn't have anything to hold on to and it would sink into the Pacific.

A Concerned American.


the folly of world domination by two lowly women!

Dearest Generals,

We have stumbled on to your meager attempt at world domination and are very peeved with this finding. We (Emperor BOB and Overlord Bingo) are disturbed that this kind of action was not run thru our channels. Any future attempts of world domination may constitute a breach of domination protocal and may subject your cause to immediate fanny slapping and subsequent imprisonment in our baby gated kitchen. The required uniform will be as follows: a diamond tiara, kiss the cook apron, bright red lipstick and nails, a kiss the cook apron 2 sizes to small. If you would like this enticing but humiliating punishment keep on the the route you are going.

We need to schedual a future world leaders summit between our two factions. There will be a one million dollar donation from our comrades in Canada.(small unmarked American bills) and naked pics. You are welcome in advance for our time in this matter.

The We Are Better Than YOU World Domiation Faction
Emperor BOB
Overlord BINGO

PS What is your bedtime?


This is the funniest thing in the world. The way you guys make Canada seem all powerful and cool! It's almost convincing! But this is a country known only for bacon and excessive use of the word "eh." How could you guys possibly make yourselves beleive that you could overtake America? All in all, I do love the site.

Keep up the good work you hosers.

Fueamin Stormmaster

Before I thought you were all fools, then I noticed Bush and Gore. MY GOD MAN! Were all screwed, you gota help us.


You guys have to be the stupidest morons this side of the world. You dumb fucks-all you know how to do is play hockey and kiss England's ass. You should all seriously burn in hell. If i was to piss on your army all by myself my urine would probably burn out 85% of your army. I love your website-the second i saw it-I had this really bad case of diarrhea-odd.

American Patriot

Andy Snitz

you people are clearly in denial-
Documentaries such as "canadian bacon" and "the southpark movie" (with the heroic theme "canada sucks") have shown clearly that nothing of value lies in canada; (note: i do not capitalize canada on purpose, it is not worthy). The actions of the mackenzie brothers in strange brew mimics the lazy uselessness of the entire canadian population. THERE IS NO NEED FOR THE WORDS 'hoser' and 'eh?' to be in a humans vocabulary. Worthless are the canadians, a waste of a good mountain such as Whistler, B.C.. I'm proud that you have wasted your time (typical of canada) on such a useless website. You think you're funny, but even scheming about the invasion of the United States Of America is blasphemous, and we should pave your entire country devoid of the 'maple leaf" that you hockey morons prize so highly. Weak Beer, the false promise of good fishing, and the pathetic nature of the mountie as an enforcer are all reasons for the canadians to be shipped straight south, not to the U.S. but to hell.

Thank you

By the Way, the 0 is in reference to your I.Q.

Milton Colvin


What in the hell is a Timbit?

Daddy Spackle Pants

Dear Canada,

We find your pathetic attempt of world domination humorous, but also sad. To think that the country that spawned the Kids in the Hall (who I do find funny, might I add...only because they realize Canada sucks), Mike Myers, and milk in a bag would stoop to such a low is incredible. We realize that you are only a small militant group, but we think that the entire country of Canada is also in on this plan of yours, and therefore have lost all of what little respect we had for the Lemming Country. We are reporting this site to the proper authorities of the world, and we hope to see the entire country of Canada blown up, or something. However, before you all die a horrible, horrible death which hopefully involves sea bass of some sort, we bid you luck in your quest. You will never defeat the Daddy Spackle Pants Master Plan, however.
Daddy Spackle Pants
(www.mp3.com/daddyspacklepants and www.geocities.com/daddyspacklepants)
(P.S. - The day is mine!)

Awesome Alex


Canada will never take over the USA! Canada Sucks, and its army does too.

Scott Spoor [#1]

Well, first off, Lord High Executioner of the Holy Synod (simplified, leader of The Proletariat), and Minister of All Affairs Related to Guns And Bombs and Stuff (Shmee), must protest your efforst to out-Communist us. The Proletariat are the true guardians of enlightenment. We will destroy the corrupt leaders who oil the gears of The Machine with the blood of the workers and use the bourgeouis fascist pigs that grow fat on their profits [read: YOU] as stepping stones in this endeavor. In short, we shall rule the world! Unless of course we get too drunk and pass out, then we'll just have to do it after the hangover wears off. Should you choose to simply surrender to our superior intellect, please write to this address and relinquish control of all funds related to your pathetic Canadian World Domination campaign [stolen from the lives of the workers]. These funds will be transferred to The Proletariat's World Control Fund for use in future campaigns.

The Others [The Proletariat]
PS...die you damned Frenchies! Fucking Frog bastards! PPS...President Van Buren says: "The blood of the bourgeouisie will oil the gears of our war machine!"
PPPS...President Kennedy says: "We aren't just going to kick their Frog asses. We're going to kick their Frog ass, call their mommies, and BRAG!"

Scott Spoor [#2]

Get back in the kitchen and make some pie, bitches!

Pete Milan

Better be careful...

....the USA has the most highly-armed homeless population in the civilized world. Good luck...

Pete (Oh, and LOL.)

Mark Kowalski

I actually am quite worried about your impending invasion of America. We are far too busy purchasing your hockey teams and moving them to our Southern states to actually pay attention to any invading Canadian forces.

- Mark (from the front lines in Michigan)


Listen, I have no problem with your infantile fantasies about world domination. I even have some nice suggestions on my homepage (http://hometown.aol.com/fade3210/myhomepage/profile.html) But seriously, if you are going to attempt such a feat, at least do us all a favor and wipe out the British and French first...wait a second, what nationality are Canadians originally?


you punks would not know how to fight, and the only reason you faggots took part in world war 2, (the war AMERICA WON) is because the brirs made you. And one of you ice eaters please tell me how many men are in the canadian army, ooopps I forgot canada does not have one.

Michael Coppolecchia

Okay, first off, your site is pretty amusing. It makes me giggle like a schoolgirl. I'd just like to clarify a few things for you. Canada IS NOT a country! It's a suburb of Minnesota. And while our military is becoming stronger by feeding on big slabs of beef and scrapple, your mounties are eating... ketchup flavored potato chips! Ugh.

ps. Where were the Canadian teams in the Stanley Cup this year? Oh, that's right, the cup is in JERSEY!!!!!

Wil Echorn

To whom it may concern,

Well, well it has been approximately one year since the Showstoppa's last communication with your wretched organization and yet he is still indubitably sickened by this completely insane idea of Canadien domination. It is pish-posh, hogwash, poppycock, pure malarchy, etc, etc. I believe my last letter to your rag tag bunch of houligans completely disproved any possible arguments your feeble minds could have conjured up in defense of your country's superiority over ours so I shall not feel the need to be redundant. However I believe I have found a remedy for your animosity towards those of the American persuasion. The Showstoppa believes that the two generals of this organization simply require contact with a strong American penis- be it large or small (or simply a DC powered device of some sort) whichever you prefer. I shall be monitoring your activities. Tootles.

Your hero and role model, the Showstoppa

Jesse Destories


Ok im sick of these thered world counters always talking shit about the good old US. And holy shit if Canada would even try to take over America we wouldent even need guns to woomp there mother fuckin ass's....

Lindsay Rubright [#1]

Dear CWD,

Ha ha ha. Very funny. This IS a joke, isn't it? I hope you guys aren't planning to dominate the world. What are you trying to do, bring the US back under British rule? Start World War Three? Spark a cold war between the United States and Canada?

If any of you Canucks try to invade this country, I can assure you there will be serious consequences. Our Armed Forces will crush your troops like a bug.

Good luck. I hope you like starting World War Three...

Lindsay Rubright

Lindsay Rubright [#2]

Dear Evil Generals,

YOU SICK BASTARDS!!! What do you think you're doing!?! I am a big fan of Celine Dion and Alanis Morrisette, and I happen to like Jim Carrey a little, too...and you're calling THEM traitors??? Well I have news for you. YOU, Jenny and Claire, are the traitors here! You betray the United Nations, you betray the British Commonwealth, you start World War Three for your own selfish gains! Look at yourselves! Don't you think it would be better if you stayed where you are instead of attempting to take control of peoples who don't like foreigners taking over their lives? I mean, come on now, the people of India HATED the British who took over their country, so isn't it obvious that they would hate Canadian rule as well? And I happen to also be a big fan of Elvis Stojko, so why is he involved in your sick little plot? I also watch "Jeopardy", too....are you using this as a cover-up so you two can take over the world? I'm sorry, but the peoples of the world will put up a fight before you can take them down....

Lindsay Rubright


How cute!
It's nice for suburbs of the good ol' USofA to fantasize and dream now and again. I hear it's quite healthy, like masturbation! Your site tickled my enormous nuclear funny bone and gave me a break from my daily grind of suppressing the entire population of the world. Love to chat more, but it just came over the red, white and blue flying eagle phone that there is a village in Uganda with only one McDonald's!! Must dash... Love - Uncle Sam ps: No more Celiene Dion or we nuke... (I'm sure I spelled her name wrong, but my MICROSOFT spell-checker has never even heard of the bitch - bye!)


you guys suck ass

first- let me tell you something. the bums on the streets of detriot alone could kick your army's asses which i think is at its lowest amount in awhile. second, you guys think you are so superior to the united states of america. hahaha...you guys know nothing about us. we have a huge laser in space that is unknown to all other countries and it is supposed to be fairly secret. also we have developed guns that shoot around corners and kill the enemy. what do you guys have. sticks and stones. you guys can all burn in hell for all eternity and wake up from your God damn dream you moose fuckin ice suckin maple blowin pieces of fucking shit. you are among the most pathetic idiots ever known to the entire US and our military laughs at you guys. you have no frickin army and the rest of canada is embarrassed to know you guys. you all suck dick. america rocks canada sucks so get a real life "generals". id like to see you even start to step up to this huge diss assholes.


George Cole

How ya gonna keep your Navy from running into each other?


God, I really hope this is some kind of joke. Where is Canada anyway? Isn't it that big chunk of ice north of the U.S.? The likelihood of your pittiliass country taking over the world is about the same as the Canada olympic basketball team beating the U.S. for the gold medal. In other words, you chicks might need to reevaluate your goals a little bit. Maybe you should just try accepting the fact that Canada is nothing more than a Brittish territory which has absolutely no business calling itself a "country" in the sense of an indepent autonomous entity. The Queen is still the Canada head of State right? Huh!

Your friend to the south,
Dallas, Tx.


Hey! I'm from North Dakota and if you come stomping threw my JEWISH backyard my baby brothers' muscles WILL destroy your hockey loving FROG asses!!!


I have visited your page and world domination, and I just have to say, you will fail. First of all, I'm taking over the world. Secondly, If I don't manage to take over the world, my 2nd in command will take over the world. And if that does not work, then We'll just steal bombs and blow everything up. It's really hopeless. You may have missions statements, etc. But the one thing you are lacking, is a charter. Just letting you know that it'll never work. -El Generalissimo Grandissimo Mike

Aaron Van Roy

an American is from America
an Austrian is from Austria
a South African is from South Africa
a Russian is from Russia
a Canadian is from Canadia
and a Canadan is from Canada
If you are to be my conqueror, how come you cannot even get your names straight?


My Thoughts towards people in canada with the half asses opinion that they are going to rule the world.... You swine. You vulgar little maggot. What is that tripe you call your opinions? What is that scrofulous little tumor you call a brain? Don't you know that you are pathetic? You worthless bag of filth, you wad of pus. You're a canker. A sore that won't go away. I would rather kiss a goat then be seen with you. You're a putrescent mass, a walking vomit. You are a spineless little worm deserving nothing but the profoundest contempt. You are a jerk, a cad, a weasel. Your life is a monument to stupidity. You are a stench, a revulsion, a big suck on a sour lemon. I will never get over the embarrassment of belonging to the same species as you. You are a monster, an ogre. I barf at the very thought of you. You have all the appeal of a paper cut. Lepers avoid you. You are vile, worthless, less than nothing. You are a weed, a fungus, the dregs of this earth. And did I mention, every damn one of you smell? You are weary, stale, flat and unprofitable. You're grimy, squalid, nasty and profane. I have excreted better things than you. You are foul and disgusting. You're a fool, an ignoramus. Monkeys look down on you.You are a waste of flesh. You have no rhythm. You are ridiculous and obnoxious. I would rather bathe with Hitler than speak to you. You are the moral equivalent of a leech. You are a living emptiness, a meaningless void. You are sour and senile. You are a disease. On a good day you're a half-wit. You remind me of drool. You are deficient in all that lends to character. You have the personality of wallpaper. You are dank and filthy. You are asinine and benighted. You are the source of all unpleasantness. You spread misery and sorrow wherever you go. You are a fiend and a coward and you have bad breath. You are degenerate, noxious and depraved. I feel debased just for knowing you exist. I despise everything about you!

When I see canada I always think of this: http://www.adcritic.com/content/edge-102-i-am-not.html

You Canadian people are not brave enough to fight for your own independence.... How the hell are you going to fight us?

BRB Going out to burn the Canadian flag, cya in a few...
The man from United States, Tennessee Ace


canada you suck i knew for a long time you were planning something .you will fail and the U.S.A. will brutally kill all of you for your stupid crap. plus the only reason you kicked out some americans in 1812 was because you were so afraid we would take over you nation and also because you were french.you also have problems of your own stupid ass province of quebec wants to leave you also fuck you canada

[subsequent emails]

your danm mounties don't even have guns

your damn mounties are fucking gay and canadian bacon taste like crap

even tom green thinks america is better then canada

Mike Wylie Jr.

After reading your page some of us Americans have gotten together and decided to send the salvation army up to take over canada! Since you have no real army we figure the salvation army may be a bit of an overkill but what the heck! We don't really want your country but we do want your beer! LOL

You loving neighbor-soon to be rule ruler
Sixpack A Beer


how do you expect to win when U.S.A has battle plans for every country in the world and not to mention we out number 30to1 yea know pluse we got nukes and you dont.

Yea you go and TRY to invade when you "cross the border" ill be waiten for u

YOU CAN GO AHEAD AND TRY TO INVADE BUT IN NORTERN INDIANA EXPECT HEAVY RESTIANCE FROM ME INDIANA WILL NEVER FALL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! !!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Maria Contreras

this has to be the stupidest thing that I have gone threw, I laughed so hard that I had tears in my eyes!!!! Good joke!!!


I've always thought of the relationship between the USA and Canada as that of two brothers: the elder one is tall, dashingly handsome and of powerful stature, clever, independent, fabulously wealthy and successful, admired (or feared and deferred to,) by the whole world, sometimes cruel and selfish, but always seeking to be loyal to his allies and friends. The little brother is somewhat simple, puny, good-hearted though knock-kneed and a bit-feeble minded, absolutely dependent upon others, at first upon their ancient and feeble father (the UK) and now, mostly upon his older brother, and lives in his golden shadow. Sorry, guys, your fate of eternal mediocrity was sealed when you failed to take our side in the revolution against Britain so many years ago. I guess you thought we'd lose, eh? Whoops, major miscalculation. Well, at least life for you is quite warm and safe in our shadow.

Sadly, the fact that you didn't take our side against mean old Dad means that you didn't reap the benefits of pride in freedom that we did. Your national identity crisis (this site is one indication, as is that beer television commercial what a sad, solitary forum for Canadian patriotism!) causes you to lash out against us, your brother. It stems from the fact that you never wrested your independence away from anyone, indeed, have never even particularly asserted it at all, as a nation. For God's sakes, the Queen of England is on your freakin' money! Are you English, British, Canadian, French what?? Do you even know? My advice to help alleviate your identity crisis and to engender true national pride, as opposed to the kind which is manufactured by your TV advertisers, is as follows:

1. Pick ONE identity, and go with that. Quebecois, Canadian, or British. NO, you can't be all three. Pick one. Extirpate the other two. The world will even have more respect for you if you declare yourself a district of Great Britain, than the current political muddle you've got going up there (commonwealth?? Semi-detached Quebec??)

2. A tree-leaf is about as wussy as it gets, for a national symbol. It says, "we like trees." Hmm. Not exactly awe-inspiring or valiant. Focus on these two other qualities, or maybe something that hearkens back to your cultural heritage. Bottom line: your flag and symbols need overhauling, if you want to be taken seriously. The song, too. Boresville. I suggest "You ain't seen nothin' yet," by BTO.

3. Get that wrinkly old bitch off of your money, ASAP. News flash: she's never done squat for you, and never will. It's a disgrace to your nation. I could go on, but these are a good start. You've got your work cut out for you, but we're rooting for you down here. No, really, little bro, we want to see you do well. Now fetch us another Molsen and send out that guy Carry again, he's a hoot.

Signed, Your loving older brother, USA

Greg Hoole

I truly hope you are kidding. I know you realize that a fair portion of your people are French and they won't commit to anything especially if it meant that they might get hurt.


Tyler Herdt


Pray that we take you in silence. -An American

Darla Herdt

Cool guy eh?

Pray that we take you in silence. - An American

Craig Schweitzer

Loved the page but ... If you insist on continuing with this non-sense, we will have no choice but to introduce rats to the virgin soil of Alberta!


Tim Corrigan

By all means, take over the world and make it Canadian.

Start with Quebec.

Then replace our constitution with yours... whenever that's ready.

And replace our dollar bill with that coin that pictures a bird that dives.... Making the closest hard currency the peso, which we'll need several trillion of for our shopping trips across the border to Mexico's malls...

And send the national anthem back to committee for another rewrite. Any of us who are overseas won't notice, cuz we're already pretending to be Canadian... (actual quote from a bartender in Rome: "Yeah, whenever America bombs anything suddenly a lot more Canadians start coming to Europe.")



Does Canada even have an army???

I happened to see your site, and would like to congratulate you on making the most retarded site I've seen in a while.


Canada sux my big hairy AMERICAN dick U.S.A rules all canadians are drunk retared bastards they all should be killed and canadian music sux MetallicA rules bite me i hope u die


You fool! Only I can obtian the world!............idoit

besides Canada sux! ill send you to the gay concentration camps! fools....



Brian the Coolest Dude

damn canadian hosers! you all know usa is the only country that can dominate. so shut the fuck up, eh? go shoot some damn mooses while you drink your canada dry ginger ale, damn hoser bitches. up with usa! down with canada.

brian the coolest dude


This is one of the most amusing sites I've ever been too, unfortunately for you your plan will never work. I site various logistical problems:

1:Your mightiest weapon, Tom Green, has lost a testicle therefore rendering him useless. Also Drew Barrymore has whiled him away from your beaver infested homeland anyhow.

2: Canada's real cold

3: In order to win a war you need to have what is known as an "army"

4: To defeat you we could simply pay all the Mexican Laborers 8 cents an hour over what they get to pick fava beans to fight you and I'm sure they'd be more than willing.

5: Your greatest export is "red green" and i'm telling ya there's not much there.

6: Most importantly as soon as you invade quebec will take the oppourtunity to ally with us and kick your hockey playing asses back to the stone age.

well eh that's aboot it eh, so there ya go hoser,


P l

You guys are just doing this because youre upset that the Nordiques and the Jets moved south of the border, right? I mean, we took in Celine Dion and Bryan Adams, I think that makes us about even....


I hope you 2 aren't serious. Because the new nation of Germania will rule supream as it did in the simulator. heheh. I find your site ammusing and well...pointless. I am sure there is an anti-canadian movement out there...just look around.

"a canadian is only an ameriacn without a gun" micael moore .

Ben Tilley

Remember.. You must first get past America. There you will fail.
Horribly. Our Salvation Army could kick Canada's ass, and we might just
send in the Boy Scouts to finish up the light work. There are over 80
million armed citizens here, the vast majority of which own more than
one gun. We would kick your asses, take over all of your territory, and
the vast majority of Americans would still not even know we were at war.
The ease with which we would dominate you would fool most Americans into
thinking it was just an elementary school game of tag, not a war.

Alan Alaimo

Fuck you and the queen

Larry Jackson

Larry -->proud to be from the "south"

Yvonne T Allen

Why in Gods name do you keep sending us your unwanted citizens-e.g. Caltech Post Doc. John Scollard? He sucks.

A dedicated American


I don't know anything about Canada,but I sure wish you guys wouldn't bash my homeland. However, I do realize it is in satire. Are those people that sent you the hate mail serious? Some were insulting your intellectual abilities,yet their spelling was atrocious! And some of them even had the nerves to be racist! I can't believe they had the audacity to degrade their own fellow Americans at an anti-American site no less! You guys stop being so mean,or else I will spread peanut butter over ya's and lick it all off with my tongue. (hehe...) America is groovie when it wants to be and I'm sure Canada is too.

Signed with love, Peace-loviing black hippie chic in New Jersey.

 Will Eichorn

This one goes out to all those delusional, socialist, frostbitten pieces of trash who actually believe that Canada can dominate anything let alone the world. First of let me start by quoting the most electrifying man in sports entertainment by saying, IT DOESN'T MATTER WHAT YOU THINK. You are the biggest and I do mean biggest pieces of socialist trash that it has eeever been by extreme displeasure of
hearing of. Canada cannot even dominate Quebec let alone the world. Let me list the reasons why:

1. the Montreal Expos

2. the heterosexually challenged Mounties

3. socialism

4. you are not American (or British which runs a close second)

5. your hockey teams either suck or desire to become American

6. Dan Akroyd is Canadian

7. Canada is simply a suburb of North Dakota

8. your chief exports are frosty precipitation, bad maple syrup, and ridiculous accents

9. "aboot" is not a word, nor shall it ever be one

10. your Maple Leaf flag is the most ridiculous national symbol known to man

So in conclusion let me say, that Canada will never, eeever come close to winning another Stanley Cup let alone dominating the world.
                              Your hero and role model,
                                   the Showstoppa


Does Canada have an army?  Instead of world domination, and thoughts of destroying America shouldn't  you guys be grateful to us that your not speaking German right now. If you guys insist upon this ridiculous course of action we may allow a stronger ally of ours to conquer you. I mean lets face it we're the only buffer between you and Mexico. And you're not all that far from the Bahamas. So tread lightly and carry a tank division or shut up!

I regret that I have but one life to give to my country.

An American Patriot


This a joke - right???


Canada has always been passive and safe - stay that way - or expect the worse

Love the wacky letters, sunshine?

Check out our archive of Older Hatemail.

Don't forget our famous and much loved collection of Classic Hatemail as well!



Comrade Steve

Content copyright © 1997-2000 Generals Claire & Jenny, Canadian World Domination.
Unauthorized duplication leads to punishment.