Take highly-trained special forces "peacekeeping"
troops and give them special weapons formulated in specially
secret underground Canadian military laboratories.
Station troops at secret Canadian military bases along
the 49th parallel. Put the troops of the bases in Windsor
(Fort Auto), Medicine Hat (Fort McClung) and Squamish
(Fort Fortress) on alert.
Send soldiers to make highly-militarized igloos along
the Yukon-Alaskan border.
Instruct all soldiers to sing morale-defeating Stompin'
Tom songs loud enough to be heard over the US-Canada border.
Activate secret underwater military bases off the coast
of California (Base Bluenose), Continental Europe (Base
I's-the-by) and Indonesia (Base Ogopogo).
Take troops at secret Arctic Circle base off "scientific
mission" status and put on "prepare to invade"
Fax the Prime Minister and remind him/her to sever diplomatic
ties with the world.
Parachute Canadian soldiers into specially selected target
areas in Belgium, Ohio, Laos, and Rio. Tell inhabitants
of the invaded regions that the soldiers are there to
conduct a "Special Canadian Beer Survey".
Distribute free beer to those who question our increasing
Gas up R.C.A.F. planes, and get our nuclear submarines
Wait for further instructions from Generals Claire and
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& Jenny, Canadian World Domination.
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