1. Q: Are you people serious?
A: Yes.

2. Q: What will happen to the world under Canadian rule?
A: It will become a kinder, gentler, colder place.

3. Q: I'm a Non-Canuck! But I want to live under Canadian rule. Will I survive the invasion?
A: All polite and submissive non-Canadians will be welcomed into our fold come our time of ultimate tyranny! Those who show automatic obedience to perceived authority, a fondness for a Tims double-double, and/or demonstrate a tendency for self-effacing introspection are especially assured of Canadian citizenship once our annexation begins.

4. Q: Is there nothing that can stop your awesome forces?
A: No, not really.

5. Q: Can I join your organization?
A: Yes, as long as you supply the rifle and the plaid flannel shirt.

6. Q: Are those hate mail letters real?
A: Yes, unless there is one lone crackpot using the email of perfectly sane citizens.

7. Q: Why are you possibly compromising your plans by exposing them on the Internet?
A: We are drunk with power and consider ourselves invincible.

8. Q: How will you take over the world with a population of only 30 million?
A: We are growing soldiers in bio-tanks.

9. Q: Is prolonged flag waving and mindless obedience to symbols of the state encouraged under Canadian World Domination?
A: Prolonged flag waving is a vulgar American trait and an unsubtle method of expression for patriots under CWD. Mindless obedience is much more sophisticated.

10. Q: What will you do with Quebec separatists?
A: Reason with the dears, declare them "distinct", arm them, and put them to Good Use fighting the non-Canadian.

11. Q: Where can I get Canadian World Domination merchandise?
A: Battle vestments are available on our Merchandise Page.

12. Q: Can I marry General Jenny and/or General Claire?
A: Send photo and stats and we'll see. 

13. Q: How can I get a graphic to put your honourable link on my submissive site?
A: Check out our Propaganda Page.

14. Q: Do you prefer This Hour Has 22 Minutes or Royal Canadian Air Farce ?
A: 22 Minutes is by far the edgier, more creative, and more relevant show. Sure, Air Farce is good for the occasional chuckle (no, not even a chuckle any more...maybe a nod) but Luba Goy's shameless mugging and the lame-to-lamer jokes are weighing down the great tradition of Canadian satire. Plus, they don't have the Quinlan Quints (they are quints right...but there are four of them...) 

15. Q: Who is responsible for genetic alterations under Canadian World Domination?
A: Our scientiferrific Lieutenant-Colonels Kendra and Namgyal who are jam-packed with an entire year of university science and are willing to experiment on political prisoners. 

16. Q: Why don't you have an 'O' Canada' MIDI on your web site?
A: Because, we have good taste. 

17. Q: But I'll even send you an 'O' Canada' MIDI!
A: Look. We've had enough of this whining. Are you questioning the judgement of the Generals? Fine. We will take your name and personal information and file it in our Secret Database Of Domination for further reference when the time comes to separate the believers from the non-believers. You'll understand the power of a totalitarian state, we promise...  

18. Q: Why don't you have awards on your site?
A: Naturally, CWD wins awards. We just don't put them up everywhere. They take up too much space. Our priority is to frustrate guests' browsers with *our* time-consuming graphics. Soon, under Canadian World Domination, all achievements will be acknowledged not by the awarding of .jpgs but by the awarding of the sacred maple sugar loaf. If you really care about us - take a look at our Accolades page to see others who understand the necessity of our tyranny.

19. Q: Who are the official band of "Canadian World Domination"?
A: Victoria, B.C.'s 'Meatlocker Seven', an aggressive metal band of Canadian origin are our pick for mascot musicians. These fine young Canadian boys are making a productive contribution to the Canadian economy and possess the diplomatic skills that will be necessary for high-level representatives of Canadian World Domination come our reign of tyranny. 

Polite musician Steve (Meatlocker Seven's bassist "Steve")

20. Q: Why haven't you joined a web ring? Everyone else is doing it!
A: To direct visitors off their site to someone else's crappier one? Clever.

21. Q: What's up with Finland?
A: The fine people of Finland have been supportive of Canadian World Domination since our plans were first revealed to the masses. Fins, united in their love and admiration of Canada and Canadians, understand the greatness of -40 Celsius weather, the power of television shows like "Due South" and "Ready or Not", and the benefits of living entirely north of the 60th parallel - five
million Fins can't be wrong! A recent Finnish computer magazine article described Canadian World Domination as: "Kanadalaisten salaisena suunnitelmana on vallata koko maapallo. Kierojen kanukkien päämajan WWW-sivuilla kerrotaan kaikki tarpeellinen jääkiekkokansan maailmanvalloitussuunnitelmista tiedonsiirtoyhteyksien haltuunotosta uuden yhteiskuntajärjestelmän luontiin." Oh you sweet Fins! And yes, we'll let you annex Sweden.

22. Q: What's up with Canadian military cadets?
A: Yes, it's true. A disproportionate number of Canadian World Domination fans are cadets. A good friend of the Generals, who is attending the Royal Military College, and thus cannot be named (for fear of hazings), can't explain the attraction of Canada's military-in-training to our most honourable and well-conceived plans. The Generals have a theory: cadets like to see a future in which they get to fly their super-fightin' jets and anthrax the hell out of non-conformists. We love this attitude! Keep it up cadets, you eager little darlings you!

23. Q: What's up with The Queen?
A: We love The Queen. Quit your complaining about the monarchy - this lady is one tough bitch - The Generals appreciate her stiff upper lip and iron dignity. We'd like her to reign as our figurehead forever. Unfortunately, Her Majesty is an elderly lady, so we've planned out a method of preservation to ensure that she exists adfinitum, her likeness forever adorning our money and House of Commons. With her permission (Elizabeth II is entirely pro-domination) we have injected The Queen with several "treatments" designed to slowly embalm her innards, guaranteeing a Canadian-ruled world a permanent figurehead to open parliament and blindly sign treaties! 

Elizabeth II (Recently embalmed Elizabeth II) 

24. Q: HEY, I asked you to put a link to my page on your page! Where is it? My page has lots of links to other, better, web sites, and it has a clip art Canadian flag, and some misspelled ranting about how Americans think we live in igloos! And I've even called it "The Best Canadian Page in the World". Please link me!
A: Go away! 

25. Q: Haven't I seen this page somewhere else?
A: You might have. We used to be at http://home.golden.net/~cmkerr/
and we had a mirror site at http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com 

26. Q: Why haven't you joined one of the many online campaigns to promote the cause of Canadianism on the Internet? You know, the ones with big maple leaf logos, web rings with cheesy graphics, and all the flags of the provinces?
A: Alright - although many things annoy the Generals, Canadians acting foolishly have to be among the worst! We are shocked and dismayed to see that many of these so-called Canadian pride sites usually succumb to one of two disgustingly non-CWD-oriented faults:

a) Complaining about Quebecers. Get over it (this means you, Alberta). And "Francophone" doesn't equal "Separatist". Don't make us come to your house and kick your ass to make you behave respectfully.

b) Setting up some sort of evil web ring-turned-cult of "approved" Canadian sites. One of the stupidest belonged to Mr. Dave Clark whose web site insisted that "pornography, anarchy, anti-Canadianism, profanity and links to above content" were vaguely unsuitable for his "Canadian Pride" organization! Of course, all the foul-mouthed, anarchic, cynical strippers we have working for Canadian World Domination were not pleased by these restrictions! Future organizations - please try to have more good sense.

27. Q: What do you mean by "half an hour later in Newfoundland"? Isn't it half a time zone earlier in Newfoundland?
A: Yes, but Canadian broadcasters schedule television shows for one half hour later, to match up with the rest of the East. What good Canadian hasn't heard: "7 o'clock Eastern, 7:30 in Newfoundland!"

28. Q: I can't wait to be part of the Canadian Empire! What can I do to help?
A: Sit right there. We'll get down to you eventually.

29. Q: Is there no sanctuary from the oncoming carnage?
A: Probably not. We intend to be thorough tyrants.

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Comrade Margaret

Content copyright © 1997-2000 Generals Claire & Jenny, Canadian World Domination.
Unauthorized duplication leads to punishment.