Q: Are you people serious?
2. Q: What will happen to the world under Canadian
It will become a kinder, gentler, colder place.
Q: I'm a Non-Canuck! But I want to live under Canadian
rule. Will I survive the invasion?
All polite and submissive non-Canadians will be welcomed
into our fold come our time of ultimate tyranny! Those
who show automatic obedience to perceived authority, a
fondness for a Tims double-double, and/or demonstrate
a tendency for self-effacing introspection are especially
assured of Canadian citizenship once our annexation begins.
4. Q: Is there nothing that can stop your awesome forces?
No, not really.
5. Q: Can I join your organization?
Yes, as long as you supply the rifle and the plaid flannel
6. Q: Are those hate mail letters real?
Yes, unless there is one lone crackpot using the email
of perfectly sane citizens.
7. Q: Why are you possibly compromising your plans
by exposing them on the Internet?
We are drunk with power and consider ourselves invincible.
Q: How will you take over the world with a population
of only 30 million?
We are growing soldiers in bio-tanks.
Q: Is prolonged flag waving and mindless obedience to
symbols of the state encouraged under Canadian World Domination?
Prolonged flag waving is a vulgar American trait and an
unsubtle method of expression for patriots under CWD.
Mindless obedience is much more sophisticated.
Q: What will you do with Quebec separatists?
Reason with the dears, declare them "distinct",
arm them, and put them to Good Use fighting the non-Canadian.
Q: Where can I get Canadian World Domination merchandise?
A: Battle vestments are available on our
Q: Can I marry General Jenny and/or General Claire?
Send photo and stats and we'll see.
Q: How can I get a graphic to put your honourable link
on my submissive site?
A: Check out our Propaganda
Q: Do you prefer This Hour Has 22 Minutes or Royal Canadian
Air Farce ?
22 Minutes is by far the edgier, more creative, and more
relevant show. Sure, Air Farce is good for the occasional
chuckle (no, not even a chuckle any more...maybe a nod)
but Luba Goy's shameless mugging and the lame-to-lamer
jokes are weighing down the great tradition of Canadian
satire. Plus, they don't have the Quinlan Quints (they
are quints right...but there are four of them...)
Q: Who is responsible for genetic alterations under Canadian
Our scientiferrific Lieutenant-Colonels Kendra and Namgyal
who are jam-packed with an entire year of university science
and are willing to experiment on political prisoners.
Q: Why don't you have an 'O' Canada' MIDI on your web
Because, we have good taste.
Q: But I'll even send you an 'O' Canada' MIDI!
Look. We've had enough of this whining. Are you questioning
the judgement of the Generals? Fine. We will take your
name and personal information and file it in our Secret
Database Of Domination for further reference when the
time comes to separate the believers from the non-believers.
You'll understand the power of a totalitarian state,
Q: Why don't you have awards on your site?
A: Naturally, CWD wins awards. We just don't put them
up everywhere. They take up too much space. Our priority
is to frustrate guests' browsers with *our* time-consuming
graphics. Soon, under Canadian World Domination, all achievements
will be acknowledged not by the awarding of .jpgs but
by the awarding of the sacred maple sugar loaf. If you
really care about us - take a look at our Accolades
page to see others who understand the necessity of our
Q: Who are the official band of "Canadian World Domination"?
Victoria, B.C.'s 'Meatlocker Seven', an aggressive metal
band of Canadian origin are our pick for mascot musicians.
These fine young Canadian boys are making a productive
contribution to the Canadian economy and possess the diplomatic
skills that will be necessary for high-level representatives
of Canadian World Domination come our reign of tyranny.
Seven's bassist "Steve")
Q: Why haven't you joined a web ring? Everyone else is
To direct visitors off their site to someone else's crappier
Q: What's up with Finland?
The fine people of Finland have been supportive of Canadian
World Domination since our plans were first revealed to
the masses. Fins, united in their love and admiration
of Canada and Canadians, understand the greatness of -40
Celsius weather, the power of television shows like "Due
South" and "Ready or Not", and the benefits
of living entirely north of the 60th parallel - five
million Fins can't be wrong! A recent Finnish computer
magazine article described Canadian World Domination as:
"Kanadalaisten salaisena suunnitelmana on vallata
koko maapallo. Kierojen kanukkien päämajan WWW-sivuilla
kerrotaan kaikki tarpeellinen jääkiekkokansan
haltuunotosta uuden yhteiskuntajärjestelmän
luontiin." Oh you sweet Fins! And yes, we'll let
you annex Sweden.
Q: What's up with Canadian military cadets?
Yes, it's true. A disproportionate number of Canadian
World Domination fans are cadets. A good friend of the
Generals, who is attending the Royal Military College,
and thus cannot be named (for fear of hazings), can't
explain the attraction of Canada's military-in-training
to our most honourable and well-conceived plans. The Generals
have a theory: cadets like to see a future in which they
get to fly their super-fightin' jets and anthrax the hell
out of non-conformists. We love this attitude! Keep it
up cadets, you eager little darlings you!
Q: What's up with The Queen?
We love The Queen. Quit your complaining about the monarchy
- this lady is one tough bitch - The Generals appreciate
her stiff upper lip and iron dignity. We'd like her to
reign as our figurehead forever. Unfortunately, Her Majesty
is an elderly lady, so we've planned out a method of preservation
to ensure that she exists adfinitum, her likeness forever
adorning our money and House of Commons. With her permission
(Elizabeth II is entirely pro-domination) we have injected
The Queen with several "treatments" designed
to slowly embalm her innards, guaranteeing a Canadian-ruled
world a permanent figurehead to open parliament and blindly
embalmed Elizabeth II)
Q: HEY, I asked you to put a link to my page on your page!
Where is it? My page has lots of links to other, better,
web sites, and it has a clip art Canadian flag, and some
misspelled ranting about
how Americans think we live in igloos! And I've even called
it "The Best Canadian Page in the World". Please
Q: Haven't I seen this page somewhere else?
A: You might have. We used to be at
we had a mirror site at http://cwd.ptbcanadian.com
Q: Why haven't you joined one of the many online campaigns
to promote the cause of Canadianism on the Internet? You
know, the ones with big maple leaf logos, web rings with
cheesy graphics, and all the flags of the provinces?
Alright - although many things annoy the Generals, Canadians
acting foolishly have to be among the worst! We are shocked
and dismayed to see that many of these so-called Canadian
pride sites usually succumb to one of two disgustingly
Complaining about Quebecers. Get over it (this means you,
Alberta). And "Francophone" doesn't equal "Separatist".
Don't make us come to your house and kick your ass to
make you behave respectfully.
Setting up some sort of evil web ring-turned-cult of "approved"
Canadian sites. One of the stupidest belonged to Mr. Dave
web site insisted that "pornography, anarchy,
anti-Canadianism, profanity and links to above content"
were vaguely unsuitable for his "Canadian Pride"
organization! Of course, all the foul-mouthed, anarchic,
cynical strippers we have working for Canadian World Domination
were not pleased by these restrictions! Future organizations
- please try to have more good sense.
Q: What do you mean by "half an hour later in Newfoundland"?
Isn't it half a time zone earlier in Newfoundland?
Yes, but Canadian broadcasters schedule television shows
for one half hour later, to match up with the rest of
the East. What good Canadian hasn't heard: "7 o'clock
Eastern, 7:30 in Newfoundland!"
Q: I can't wait to be part of the Canadian Empire! What
can I do to help?
Sit right there. We'll get down to you eventually.
Q: Is there no sanctuary from the oncoming carnage?
Probably not. We intend to be thorough tyrants.
Content copyright © 1997-2000 Generals Claire
& Jenny, Canadian World Domination.
Unauthorized duplication leads to punishment.