you wonder who has submitted to the loving and passionate
tyranny of Generals Claire and Jenny? Do you stay awake
at nights fearing that the Canadian World Domination web
site has not received the laurels it so richly deserves?
Would you like to track the progress of CWD-oriented dogma
as it winds its way through the world's media outlets?
Here are a few of the people and organizations who have
wisely abandoned their previous world views in lieu of
the correct-thinking as taught by the Generals...
- The good people at Yahoo!
and affiliate Yahoo!Canada
can't seem to get enough of that great CWD stuff.
In the October print issue of Yahoo!
Internet Life Magazine (pg. 148) we are reviewed
in a "Political Humor (sic)" article. Given
only 3 and a half stars out of a possible 4, and our
merciful oppression described as "fanciful",
the editors of Yahoo!
Internet Life will be compelled to suffer our wrath
come domination. In addition, CWD has been a Yahoo!Canada
Pick of the Week and is listed in the Yahoo!
directory under Cool
Links. They try to suck up to us for they know what
lies in wait for them...
NetLife Magazine - Canadian World Domination
was featured in their July/August print issue (pg. 46)
as a "top site". We were given 4 stars out
of a possible 5. Because they described us as, "well-designed,
with lots of attention paid to detail" we will
refrain from officially punishing the Sympatico people
for neglecting to grant us the final star.
Canadian Online - We were selected as the I
Am Canadian Cool Site of the Week. Our reward was
a mousepad. We would have preferred a week's worth of
beer. Punishment would have been rapid (and rabid),
but General Claire was fond of the mousepad and talked
General Jenny out of storming the brewery to teach the
Molson people a lesson in how to properly reward tyrants.
Site Of The Day - Naturally.
Toronto Sun - Featured in Sandy McMurray's 'Read.me'
column for the week of Canada Day 1998. Of course, the
Generals would have preferred to be Sunshine Girls,
but what can you do? We will punish Mr. McMurray later.
Digest (Volume 03, Issue 31) - These reviewers
are appropriately respectful of the power of Canadian
World Domination, and correctly sum up our aims. "What
isn't generally known is that behind the passive public
face lies a desire to maintain peace by dominating the
planet, and dictatorially enforcing the rigorous intellectual,
physical, and emotional standards all Canadians live
by." So clever these ones, they could be Canadian!
(Issue 11/98) - Finland's "oldest computer gaming
magazine" recommended us to the fine people of
Finland, along with the "Fighting Moomin Trolls
Game". It's so refreshing to see a nation so willing
to capitulate to our Northern-oriented, and entirely
glamorous, dominating aims! They will be well-rewarded
come the time of our tyranny.
Tonight (Jan. 30 - Feb. 1, 1999) - Direct TV's
channel "ZDNET" (the company that owns PC
magazine and probably a few Eastern European nations)
featured the CWD website during their half-hour program
Tonight". None of our staff has subscribed
to Direct TV (being most fond of traditional Canadian
television as embodied in the CBC and TVO) and thus
nobody here has had a chance to see the feature. If
any of you loyal patriots out there saw the program,
please let us know what was said. We need to put the
Tonight people in either the "compliant"
or "dissident" category.
Calgary Herald (March 12, 1999, D4) - We were
featured in the "Graffiti" column, or so the
rumour goes ... If anyone has a clipping, do let us
know ... We're suspicious of the province that gave
us The United Alternative. We're fairly certain we'll
eventually have to "deal" with Alberta and
teach it the right and true path of Collectivism under
National Post (April 9, 1999, A10) - In the
article "Keyword: Domination", Conrad Black's
newest venture describes our clever plans as "designed
to fan the flames of underground nationalism - or at
least give the funny bone a tickle". Because we
were further described as, "slickly produced",
and a photo of our re-zoning of America was included
beside the article, we will try to swallow our distaste
for Mr. Black's right-wing leanings, and will reluctantly
refrain from slaughtering his loved ones.
Du Jour Of The Day (April 18, 1999) - Reviewed
in detail on the daily mailing list. Comments from the
article include: "Canadian World Domination might
not be far from
reality ... Those Socialists are dangerous and must
be contained." Because this organization obviously
has CWD pegged for exactly what it is, we will overlook
the horrific redundancy in their name (Site ... of the
day ... of the day?).
Magazine (May 11, 1999) - Our web site was included
in a 'Brilliant Careers' article about the life of (legend,
hero, GOD) Farley Mowat. Pleased to be mentioned in
the same context as the famous author, the Generals
are generously waiving their right to punish Salon
for calling CWD, "only mock-belligerent."
Salon went on to
joke, "As a world threat, Canadian jingoism ranks
right up there with Tibetan soccer hooliganism."
of the Web (May 12, 1999) - Featured on a web
site designed to showcase the "worst" of the
world wide web as seen through the eyes of three semi-cynical
cartoon characters. Commented goggle-wearing 'Melvin':
"And you thought the Middle East was a threat -
ha! There's nothing more dangerous than friendly neighbors."
How true that is, Mr. Melvin. How very true ...
News (May 21, 1999) - Featured link of the day
for this popular online gamers' ezine. The result was
a series of gamer-boys mailing the Generals to threaten
us in "Doom" and "Quake" lingo,
as well as invading our online forum and generally having
a good time interacting with patrons of this site. Glad
to be reaching the reclusive gaming community, kids,
but leave those Magic: The Gathering cards at home!
(sic) For The Easily Amused (Month of
June, 1999) - Listed in the CEA column "Dear
God, Noooo!" ("sites we can't believe
existed!"). Commented links archivist 'Danny',
"Our snowy neighbors to the North are more than
just hard-core hockey fans and people who spell everything
with an extra "u". They're coconspirators
in a plan to take over America and then the world!!!"
... Well, duh, kitten ...
Radio (June 30, 1999) - General Claire was interviewed
by the amiable Mike Walters. The show's theme that week
was "Travel on the World Wide Web." Mr. Walters
commented, "I hope it's you guys who take us over!"
and thus earned himself and his loved ones favourable
status come our New World Order. Topics of discussion
included the "South Park" movie, hate mail
that couldn't be read on the radio, and Canada's future
domination of the planet.
Magazine (July 26th, 1999) - Newsweek's "Periscope"
section (as represented by notable sweetie and honourable
Canadian behind enemy lines Tom Hayden) contacted some
"notable Canucks" for their reaction to the
movie "South Park: Bigger, Longer and Uncut".
Our reaction? The movie's chillingly realistic battle
scenes are incredibly prophetic ... What Canadian didn't
shiver with anticipation as the Canuck tanks rolled
towards the terrified American troops? And the RCMP
officer singing "Uncle Fucker" does a fine
AM - The Canadian World Domination web site
was mentioned as "amusing" during a discussion
of Canadiana on the internet. Valerie Pringle guaranteed
herself a black mark in our records when she referred
to the mind behind the CWD web site as male. Watch those
pronouns, kids, the Generals are decidedly female.
FM Saskatoon (August 9, 1999) - General Claire
was interviewed by Dave
Scharf of the "Rambling Dave Radio Show".
Said Dave of CWD, "It's about time!" Saskatchewan,
as the province spurring the co-operative movement and
Canadian socialism, has always been close to the Generals'
hearts. Tommy Douglas would approve of our collectivist
Canada (print magazine) - The site was featured
in the Sept/Oct 1999 issue, page 43, under the "Web
Waves" section. How nice to be appreciated by university
students - our dear friends and potential research and
Sun (Jan. 9 / 00 ) - In the Sun's "Sunday Magazine"
section journalist Michelle Finch featured CWD in an
article entitled: "Tuning in to the right words".
What a wonderfully descriptive title, fully capturing
the nature of our message! Your Generals always appreciate
when the media takes notice of the 'absolute correctness'
of our political aims.
you a powerful editor of a nation-wide publication?
Did you submit to Generals Claire and Jenny by praising
us in a manner of your choosing?
Let us know
you a lowly street urchin? Did you hear about Canadian
World Domination by reading a newspaper you were using
as shelter against the harsh elements? Did your drug dealer
mention he/she had seen us featured on some t.v. program
like W5 or The National?
Let us know
Content copyright © 1997 - 2000 Generals Claire
& Jenny, Canadian World Domination.
Unauthorized duplication leads to punishment.