Canadian World Domination

Yes sweeties, it was last year!
But in the great glory that is CWD,
each and every day glows,
with the glowy, glowingness of a Canada Day!

Full of fervour and good intentions, CWD staff have exhausted their creative capacities and have painstakingly devised a new logo for the CWD web site and uniform breast pockets of patriotic Canadian dominators of the future. The logo is, as you must notice, somewhat swirly, this swirling action being intended to symbolize the relentless action of Canadian World Domination schemes. Although several designs were commissioned, this image spoke to Generals Claire and Jenny. Both Generals were much impressed by the bold lettering and particularly by the aforementioned swirling action. True to Canadian form, the logo is unpretenious, stylish yet subdued, seemingly harmless but with pokey bits and sharp edges, aware of its inherent coolness yet without an insufferable "rippling flag" gif which we are all very sick of thank you very much! We were unable to incorporate the beaver Gordie, our mascot, in the new logo, but will soon be revamping the CWD site to include his charming self. As if it didn't take ages to download our stuff already. Ah well, patience is a virtue known to Canadians.

And because it is the aftermath of Canada Day, we felt obligated to expand our "obligatory links" section to include some places to go if you are the type of individual to spend a holiday like Canada Day on your computer instead of doing something actually useful like writing grafitti on the walls of the new American embassy being built across from Parliament Hill (at last check, "US out of Canada - now!" has yet to be painted over). As a quick aside, if any of you attended the July 1st celebrations on Parliament Hill, you might have seen General Claire in the crowd...

She was engaged in deeds of great and secret import.

The Generals are usually wary of "links" sections - they only being an exit off our excellent site into someone else's crappier one - but have relented in most typical gentle fashion, knowing that some of our followers are unable to use search engines and might never find other Canadian sites - having only stumbled on to this one in the first place after a series of incredibly lucky stabs at the keyboard. That only proves that God is on our side. And all the other deities too. CWD is blessed. Very much so.

Say, here's a rum idea, why don't you explore the rest of our site and then come back and try these later? Of course, if you want to leave now, screw you. We didn't mean that really - it's the pressure of the obligatory links. We hate obligatory links...

Heritage Foundation's Heritage Minutes

CANOE - Canada Day

Have you been sent this in email yet? No? You loser. Here's the king of the university mailing list - it's the infamous Onion parody: Perky Canada Has Own Government, Laws Now that you notice we have this listed as an obligatory link you can stop sending the URL to us in email. Yes, we like it, we've read it. All have read it.

NOTE from your Generals: If you are going to send us the "real" radio broadcast of the American battleship and the Canadian lighthouse, please don't. Yes, we've read that one too. It's funny - fake, but funny.

Additional NOTE: Darlings, also stop sending us the joke with the punchline: "wait until you see the neighbours I'm going to give them". We've read it. Yes, it's funny. Overcirculated, but funny.

Please, stop sending these. Merci.

Are you wondering what the Generals and CWD staff did on Canada Day 1998? Besides the Parliament Hill celebrations, they exerted diplomatic pressure on world leaders, engineered several corporate mergers, developed a hydrodynamic solution for the problem of prairie brush fires, developed a pyrodynamic solution for the problem of flooding, and oversaw several other CWD-oriented activities. Fortunately the Generals have a personal staff of several thousand, allowing them much free time in which to sign documents blindly and try to remember the lyrics to Lisa Lougheed's terrific credits theme song for CBC's "The Raccoons". It's got something about 'running with us' - but to run where? And why? Fine questions deserving of in-depth analysis.